Experiencing Dating Violence

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • #15568
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Are you serious? See, this is exactly what I hate about this community and why I’ve stayed so far away from networking for so long. Nobody takes these types of issues seriously or wants to talk about the reality of real relationship problems at all. White women seem to always be perceived as being at fault no matter what we do, and most of the white “men” in this sphere are a bunch of autistic neckbeard social-rejects who don’t give a shit about white women’s well-being. You’re seriously more concerned about image right now than about opening discussion to issues like this. I said nothing negative about white men in general. I am talking about one very bad experience and asking a general question about situations like this, and where, if ever, there is room for reconciliation. Especially because this is somebody I see a lot of good in, despite his problems. And you post my message up asking whether or not I’m a troll?

    Seems I was wrong about joining here. There’s nobody on this site near me anyway and this is a waste of my time. I can’t believe people pay to use this service. I’ll be leaving now, don’t worry.

    #15567
    Administrator
    Moderator

    You know, the problem I have with female users who sign up and immediately post a topic about how they have been victims of white violent, alcoholic men is that it gives me the feeling that someone is trying to shed a negative light on white men and white dating in general. In short, this is what trolls do to discredit WhiteDate.

    #15566
    James
    Participant

    If you read your story as if a stranger wrote it, what would you think?

    I think you do already know the answers to your questions, that you should not submit yourself to a violent spouse; that you should tear yourself away no matter how charming or attractive he is; that your children will suffer if you choose this man to be their father.

    But, there is another side to this. By staying with him, you are rewarding him for his violent behavior towards you. You are enabling the absolute worst aspects of his personality.

    The question you ought to ask yourself is, why are you attracted to this sort of relationship? What sort of templates do you have from your parents, peers? Did you have any formative experiences involving violence?

    There’s an expression that floats around here: no more brother wars. Well. Surely that would apply even more to an effective war zone in an intimate relationship.

    You may be bonded to him, but thank God you don’t have children with him. I cannot tell you what to do, but my suggestion is to leave, as safely as you can, and then seek help to process whatever it is inside that draws you to this violence.

    Your future children deserve the kind of man that will keep the war outside the home.

    #15565
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi all,

    Looking for a bit of insight and advice here from others who share my values. Do you think it’s best to end a relationship or even a marriage for good with someone if they’ve gotten violent with you once? Do you think there’s any room for reconciliation, and under what circumstances? Where do you draw the line?

    I was dating a man casually for a few months who got very very drunk and treated me horribly on one occasion, so I decided to break things off. Before anyone asks, no I did not hit him. He tackled me and screamed in my face threatening to beat the sh*t out of me because I screamed at him to leave after many attempts to get him to leave and he refused. It almost became a very ugly situation.

    It’s been hard to stay away from him as I’ve become very attached to him and have even had to quit my job to get away from him. From what I’ve known about studying dating violence in school years ago, particularly about the cycle of domestic abuse, I feel that it’s very unlikely this would never happen again. I guess it’s also hard to walk away from him because not only am I attached to him, but he’s in peak physical form in my eyes, and we would have such beautiful children if we had them. He also has a lot of other very positive and likeable qualities and can be very sweet. But he has a drinking problem for sure, and I suspect maybe some mental health issues as well.

    I would appreciate some feedback here on what everybody’s thoughts are on dating violence in general, as well as thoughts on my personal situation. If anybody has had experiences with this as well too, please feel free to share as well.

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