@romanticguy I usually do pay for the date, especially if I feel obliged to do so with that specific woman (depending on our circumstances), but I still prefer asking for the woman’s opinion and offering her an alternative – as I recognize not everybody thinks the same way. In previous dating experiences, the women who paid for us both or decided to split expenses, were usually the women I ended up spending more time with (not because of that, but because of their character, values, and apparent willingness to invest and otherwise contribute to our success). It’s always seemed odd to me, that a female stranger can benefit from my wallet, before we even know each other that well; whereas with a more established partner of mine, I would be open to spending for her, especially if she’s supportive around the home and I’m her and/or our children’s provider. It’s less about the money, and more about exploitation, because I know several women in the United States who specifically go on dates with men only for the free food and drinks – which is part of why I tend to avoid bars and restaurants on a first-date, when able. Relationships usually haven’t begun by the time a first-date comes around – there remains little commitment to one another at that point. Obligations towards each other take at least a few meetings before developing, alongside an attachment – that’s when I’m most comfortable paying for anything my woman deserves, that a stranger may not be deserving of.
Your first-date idea of hiking someplace scenic outdoors, is something I share a desire for, although I usually save that for a second or third date, once the trust has been built up a little more, lol.
I suppose the most common first-date idea I’ve seen others desire is meeting for coffee and/or meals, but I imagine more folks will contribute their first-date ideas soon, too. I’m looking forward to them!
On your last comment: 3 of my former girlfriends were Slavic (2 Belarusians and 1 Moldovan-Ukrainian), so I am very much aware of the traditional roles and expectations involved when dating. I have so far avoided relationships with American women, but hope remains something healthy will come about with one.
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